After many people sent in complaints, varying from small, daily irritations such as slow computers, to global issues such as income tax being used to fund war, 15 of those people partook in a two-week workshop to turn those complaints into song. The lyrics also cover complaints about Birmingham, personal issues and members of the public.
Lyrics
Verse 1:
Birmingham has changed so much,
I don’t like it anymore.
Birmingham has changed so much,
I liked it more before.
Recycling is token here,
they do the very least.
And if I keep on cycling here
I’m gonna be deceased.
Pre-chorus:
Why does my computer take so very long?
Why can't the bus driver talk to anyone?
And why is the beer so expensive in town?
Chorus:
I want my money back
My job's like a cul-de-sac
And the bus is too infrequent at 6:30
Why don’t they pay me more?
Life was good before
And I am thirsty
Verse 2:
(spoken): I want to complain about the giant advertising billboard
on the side of Birmingham town hall.
I want to complain about fat women driving in canary yellow sports cars
like they own the world.
(sung): My mini-disc player is broken
Sex pressure is too low
I don’t like bad hair days
and my beard it won’t grow.
Queue of traffic one person in a car,
malfunctioning android in power.
My income tax to pay for war,
we don’t have the strength to cower.
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]
Verse 3:
(spoken): I'd like to complain about the fact I can’t grow a beard
and my peg leg has gone all weird.
It’s too far away from the sea!
(sung): People eat my biscuits,
when we have a pot of tea.
They never share their biscuits,
no one appreciates me.
The slugs will eat my lettuce
and dogs won’t clean their poo
I haven’t won the lottery,
life's going down the loo.
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]
[Rap]
(spoken): Trains are never on time!
[Chorus] (sung)
Verse 4:
(spoken): Sometimes you get bananas that don’t ripen,
they just kind of go pale and whiten.
I think they are dead bananas.
(sung): People ambling slowly
when I am in a rush.
Spit and litter at my feet,
I can’t complain enough.
I wish to complain about time please,
throwaway culture in general.
An opportunity we have to seize,
or risk international funeral.
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]
It's not fair / I want my money back
It’s always raining / My job's like a cul-de-sac
And the bus is too infrequent at 6:30
It's not fair / Why don’t they pay me more?
It's always raining / Life was good before
And I am thirsty
IT’S NOT FAIR!
Below is a chart of the categories of complaints of the Birmingham choir (click to enlarge). Some complaints fit into more than one category, so the total is not the sum of each bar (as is the case in the other charts for individual cities). For the purposes of this chart (and in all the ones to follow), the categories 'country' and 'political' are mutually exclusive, and 'personal', 'common' and 'other people' can be defined as follows:
Personal: specific to the life of an individual in the choir, i.e. too personal to be a common, global complaint that a significant amount of people could frequently relate to. Personal complaints do not relate to other people.
Common: a global complaint that a significant amount of people could frequently relate to. They also do not relate to other people.
Other People: This category may include complaints that are specific to the lives of individuals in the choir, or globally relatable, but they are about other people.
