Perhaps the most eventful complaints choir initiated by the Kalleinens was the complaints choir of Singapore, which performed in 2008 and was organized by the Fringe Festival. With the help of composer and conductor Wai Lun Chong (who had not had any of his songs performed or published before), members formed their complaints into song. After a short minor-scale warm up, the participants knuckled down and produced around a record-breaking 1,000 complaints in 10 minutes (though Helsinki had produced three times as many complaints in total).
During this workshop, participants commented on how they were scared to complain because their 'all-knowing' government had subtly instilled fear and conditioned them not to their whole lives. They were also not allowed to include 'sensitive topics' such as race or religion in the song, because those topics are not allowed to be discussed publicly, even though as one young person comments on the Complaints Choir Documentary: the more silent you are about it, the more sensitive it becomes. One choir member explained her reason for joining was initially to have a laugh, but after more thought she also thought it would be good to hear what problems the younger citizens of Singapore had with their country. The founders had been curious to see what would happen in the rehearsals, since people had the opportunity to complain anonymously.
People opened up and were willing to complain (though only one person wanted to deal with the topic of love and relationships!). A more controversial complaint was about men changing their identity to become women, but there weren't just complaints about political or sensitive topics: one elderly lady shared a very personal complaint about how she doesn't have enough money in her pension to care for her autistic son. Another complaint said fat girls in miniskirts should be against the law! Abbreviations such as HDB, BGR and CPF were incorporated into the final lyrics by a 'rap committee', since the use of such abbreviations in rap is very popular in Singapore.
The Media Development Authority (MDA) – famed for their own senior management rap video – approved the final lyrics and Fringe Festival got permission from the locations for the planned public performances, including a food-court at Eunos and the City Plaza Complex.
Unfortunately, due to this difficult, controlling political climate, arts authorities forbade the public performances one day before they were scheduled to take place, with the exception that those who were not citizens of Singapore step down from the choir. Their argument was that, since the lyrics touched on domestic affairs, and foreigners might not understand Singapore's culture or the reasons behind its laws, only Singapore citizens should be allowed to complain about the country (though one choir member notes how it is more likely because they wanted to avoid a riot or a revolution). This essentially meant there was a de facto ban of the performances, because conductor Wai Lun was a Malaysian citizen studying in Singapore, and the Singaporeans would have received a black mark against their name if the foreigners sang.
This last-minute decision caused controversy, as it seemed unfair that permanent residents - people who have lived and worked in the country for many years - could not voice their complaints publicly. One Malaysian member felt hurt and rejected after all he had contributed to the country, exclaiming 'It's just a song!'. All the necessary information had been made available to the authorities for them to evaluate the project beforehand, and Tellervo and Oliver have said that they would not have accepted the invitation to take the project to Singapore had they known of the authorities' objections sooner, since one of their main principles is that anyone can take part. Additionally, the amount of political complaints in the song was not very high, and the authorities did not take this into account.
Old Parliament House, Singapore
In the end, Fringe Festival organised private viewings for the choir members' friends at the Old Parliament House where the rehearsals took place - ironic considering the legislation that helped to effectively ban the choir from performing was passed there! Various newspapers, internet forums and other media such as Channel5 News and Channel News Asia discussed the case, and it was eventually debated in Parliament (something the founders are quite proud about). The Ministry defended its decision, however, and even found a positive outcome to the international bewilderment that the story had created: ‘Part of our branding is the law and order we have. [...] This is part of our reputation and it's not a bad part of our brand value.’ (Straits Times, March 1, 2008). However, human rights groups frequently criticise the state for its restrictions on expression and the media. Increasingly, immigrants have been used to boost the workforce in Singapore due to its low birth rate, which suggests these restrictions on expression may only become more obvious in future.
Lyrics
Verse 1:
We get fined for almost anything.
Drivers won’t ‘give chance’ when you want to ‘change lane’.
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot;
and the humid air, it wrecks my hair.
Those answering machines always make you hold,
only to hang up on you.
Verse 2:
When a pregnant lady gets on the train,
everyone pretends to be asleep.
I’m stuck with my parents 'til I’m 35,
cause I can’t apply for HDB.
We don’t recycle any plastic bags,
but we purify our pee.
Chorus:
What’s wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore,
cause if you’re not the best,
then you’re just one of the rest.
My, oh my Singapore
What exactly are we voting for?
What’s not expressly permitted
is prohibited.
(Oooooh x2)
Verse 3:
When I’m hungry at the food court, I see
people ‘chope’ [reserve] seats with their tissue paper.
To the auntie staying upstairs:
your laundry is dripping on my bed sheets.
Please don’t squat on the toilet seats
and don’t clip your nails on MRT.
Verse 4:
Stray cats get into noisy affairs
My neighbour makes weird animal sounds.
People put on fake accents to sound posh
and queue up 3 hours for donuts.
Will I ever live 'til 85
to collect my CPF?
[Chorus]
Singaporeans too kiasu - so scared to lose!
Singaporeans too kiasi - so scared to die!
Singaporeans too kiabor - scared of their wives!
Maybe we’re just too stressed out - even the kids!
(Oooooh x2)
Contrasting section:
Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel.
Singaporean men can’t take independent women.
People blow their nose into the swimming pool
and fall asleep on my shoulder in the train.*
Singapore’s national bird is the crane
the one with yellow steel girders.
Real estate agents’ leaflets clogging up my mailbox
- en bloc, en bloc; en bloc, en bloc.
Why can’t we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me.
(spoken):
Why do we need a permit to sing our complaints?
Singapore is not part of China!
I am not an SPG just because I date a foreigner.
Why are all the good looking guys gay?
... that’s not a complaint.
Why do people show butt cracks with pimples?
We don’t have 9 to 5 jobs,
we have 7 to 11 jobs.
Why does everyone ask me when I'm gonna get married?
Prices are increasing but my pay is not.
And my height is not increasing either.
I am gaining weight instead!
[Chorus] (sung)
(Oooooh x2)
Rap:
I was on the MRT going to NUS
when an ex-bf sent me an SMS.
You see I told him BRB on our BGR
coz I couldn’t wait forever on an LDR.
OMG! OMG! I know what I can do
I’m gonna find myself a new BF through SDU.
A man with all the 5Cs to be my ATM
and not a 4D buying boy stuck in Tekong Camp.
Don’t want 11B, You want my Pink IC?
Someone from NUS, NTU or ITE?
I like the PDA, You want more TLC?
I need a man ready to lose his bachelors degree.
(Oooooh x2)
When I was in NS doing my BMT
I always “kena tekan” by my PS and PC
and so I went to see the MO to get Attend C
but I came back and did “sai kang” coz I got Attend B.
KNNCCB! There’s not much I can do
You passed your A-levels but still can't get into SMU?
Dont be a CEO stuck in the CBD.
Be PCK, best in Singapore, Batam and JB.
You see my girlfriend, she always got PMS.
She thinks we MCP, always “talk cock” about NS.
Whats wrong with HDB? When will you ORD?
I need a girl who won't keep changing like the GST!
(Oooooh x2)
Verse 5:
There are not enough public holidays.
My neighbour sings KTV [Karaoke TV] all night.
Wedding dinners never start on time.
My hair is always cut shorter than I want.
Channel 5 commercials are way too long.
Why do men turn bald?
At first it was to speak more Mandarin,
then it was to speak proper English.
What’s wrong with my powerful Singlish?
Verse 6:
People sit down during rock concerts.
We have to pay for tap water at restaurants.
ERP gantries are everywhere,
but I can still see traffic jams on the road.
Why do bus stops have tilted benches?
I can't access playboy.com!
[Chorus x2]
*This particular complaint was submitted by a lady named Vicky, who adds that the situation is worse when the person has dandruff!
Chart of complaints:
